House Cleaning
by Kisoku no Yanagi
Summary: Team 7 cleans Naruto's house. A short ficlet on the wonders of housecleaning and idiocy.


1**House Cleaning**

A ficlet by Kisoku no Yanagi

* * *

"Um, come on in, come on in..." Naruto stammered, his face slightly flushed. He opened the door to his apartment a bit more, allowing his teammates in.

This morning, unlike other mornings, Naruto hadn't gone to the bridge where Team 7 usually met. Instead, he decided to stay home and...

"What are you trying to do, dobe? Clean house?" Sasuke asked, his face plastered with an expressionless expression(oxymoron, anyone?), like usual.

When no answer came from Naruto, Sasuke and and Sakura looked at him incredulously. Naruto hung his head, and braced himself for the inevitable laughter.

He wasn't let down. Well, actually, it was more like a less arrogant kind of 'hn' from Sasuke, and a high-pitched hyena-ish giggle from Sakura.

"Well, let us come in, we'll see how far along you've gotten…" Sakura muttered, swinging the door open fully.

Empty ramen containers all over. Blankets strewn around on the floor. Scrolls haphazardly balanced on top of a two-legged stool. A strange scent wafted from the small bathroom.

And several other Narutos were sitting around a tiny table, inhaling gluttonous amounts of ramen.

"AARRRRGHH! NARUTO! YOU HAVEN'T MADE ANY PROGRESS AT ALL!" Sakura screamed, punching Naruto into the wall. Glancing around, she threw Sasuke at the table, dispelling most of the Kage Bunshins.

"But, but, but, but…Sakura-cchyaaaaaan! We were taking a break!" The final clone cried out, before Sasuke punched him into oblivion.

"Come on, Naruto, we have to get this cleaned up! I don't know how anyone manages to survive here, much less feel comfortable! We can think of it as a mission!" the pink-haired kunoichi shrieked, grabbing both of the boys by the ear. "And you, Sasuke-kun! You're going to help!"

Elsewhere, in the confines of Sakura's mind, Inner Sakura danced for joy at the contact with Sasuke's pale, creamy, flawless…Okay, getting off that train of thought.

"Hn."

"But I'm hungry!"

"SHUT UP!"

Guess who's who.

After Sakura beat the- erm, persuaded Sasuke to help, the three Genin decided to pick up ramen containers, and each trudged off to their respective area. And so, for three days -SLAP- five hours - SLAP- fifteen minutes, they picked up the empty noodle cups in relative silence.

"AAAIIIIEEEE! THERE'S A **RAT **IN THIS ONE!"

"I'm STILL hungry!"

"…Hn."

Okay, so, not really silent at all.

After they had hauled the boxes upon boxes of Styrofoam cups to the nearest dumpster, Sakura and Sasuke pushed Naruto back into his apartment, while the said fox-boy tried to escape.

"Okay, the next thing we should do is pick up all your clothes and scrolls and Kakashi Training Dolls™, and then we can vacuum the whole place," Sakura sighed, and Sasuke sighed in his mind, and Naruto raised his hand.

"Ne, ne, what's a vacuum?" Came the words out of his mouth, and out of reflex, the other two planted their feet firmly onto his mouth. Until the words he had said registered, and then Sakura gaped and punched the Uzumaki again, while Sasuke…while Sasuke's pinky toe twitched.

"…Alright, Naruto, a vacuum is a mechanical device using a draft of air to remove dust, loose dirt, or other particulate matter from dry surfaces. It is especially useful on highly textured surfaces, such as carpets and upholstery, which are difficult to clean by wiping or brushing. Usually, an electrically powered fan is used to produce a zone in which the air pressure is below atmospheric pressure, causing a draft of air to flow through the material to be cleaned, carrying the small particles with it. The draft passes through a filter bag which traps the particles, and the flow of air is then discharged back into the atmosphere. In some machines the electric motor and wiring are sealed so that wet surfaces can be cleaned safely. You got that?" Sakura said in one breath, leaving her blue in the face.

"…Um, yeah, yeah, I think! I already knew that, ehehe…" Naruto stammered, trying to impress Sakura, who saw through his weak deception.

"Just pick up all your stuff…"

"Okay, Sakura-chan!"

After a mishap involving a frog, a pail, and a half-eaten cabbage, the unlikely house-keepers found out that Naruto didn't have anywhere to put all his stuff. To tell the truth, he didn't even have a closet. And so, the trio headed off to the nearest Ninja-Mart to buy some large bins, a hamper, some soap, and a vacuum. Using Naruto's money, of course, ignoring the fact that he was broke anyway. (In the end, Sasuke lent him some cash, with an interest rate of fifteen percent a week. Naruto didn't understand what that meant, so he took the offer.)

As they entered the store, in search of the above-listed items, they ran into Gaara, looking at various teddy bears. As they passed by him, stopping slightly to stare, sand swirled about their feet, and entered their sleeves, causing them a horrible itch.

As Team 7 scratched and howled in itchy agony, Gaara pointed a finger at the ground, and fixed them all with an angry glare. "Keep walking."

As the itchiness subsided, Naruto suddenly yelled, and pointed straight ahead. "Hey, I see a bin, I see a bin!"

"We also see, dobe. Now stop frying your brain cells, and keep quiet:

"ARGHm you make me so mad, Sasuke-teme! I'm gonna beat you up so bad, you'll be eating breakfast from your rear!"

"START SOMETHING, AND I'LL KILL YOU!" boomed Sakura, Inner Sakura towering over her already frightening visage.

After heading back to the dingy apartment, Sakura proceeded to plant both of the boys into the smallest bins they had bought, then started to tidy up.

"Hmm-hm-hm-hmm…" Sakura hummed, as the Uchiha and Uzumaki tried to reach each other from their spots in opposite corners.

After several hours (In which Sakura cleaned, scrubbed, polished, sewed, hammered, and twisted the small abode into a livable space(She even put down some fresh paint), the last thing to do was…

"Alright Naruto, time to make your bed."

"Nani? I've already got a bed, and I'm just fine with it!"

"Tch. Idiot."

"YOU-!"

"**_QUIET!_**" Sakura screamed. "Naruto, we're not making an actual bed, we're just tidying up the blankets and stuff."

"…Why?"

"You shut up, you."

AS Sakura explained to Naruto how to make the bed(smooth the sheets, spread the blanket, tuck in the edges, blahblahblahblah…), Sasuke…Sasuke…stood there.

"Alright, you do it, Naruto."

"Nani? A-, alright…"

Naruto proceeded to…pound on the mattress, throw the blanket, cut the edges apart, and fluffed out the pillows before thrashing them about like he was being eaten by a slug.

"No…not…like…that…" A vein pulsed in Sakura's temple.

Sasuke…stood there.

After around an hour, Naruto finally got the hang of making his bed.

"Yosh! As celebration, I shall go to sleep in my newly made bed!" Naruto cheered, his face aglow with excitement. Jumping onto the small mattress, he rolled around, and bounced furiously, before coming to a stop.

Sakura cracked her knuckles while pointing to the newly UN-made bed.

Sasuke…stood there.

"Um…sorry?"

**THE END**

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**Yeah, I know, not all that good, but it's the first time in ages I've had any sort of inspiration. **

**I was planning to add a few more bits to it, but I decided not to.**

**Seta: Well. That's not right…**

**Hm?**

**Seta: Gojyo-san stole my Pocky. I was going to give it to Itachi-san as a birthday present.**

**Oh. Well, please don't kill my new laptop.**

**Seta: Alright.**

**Kratos: Lloyd…my son…you died before I did…**

**Considering the fact that you tried to kill him yourself three times, I'm not too surprised.**

**Kratos: Shut up.**

**Oh well. Please review, or I'll never, ever, ever do anything again. I'll just sit in front of my computer, waiting for someone to review for all eternity…**


End file.
